The ‘List’

Making a list requires paying more attention to your heart, long enough to know what it desires. A list is important in finding your ideal romantic partner.

Think of it this way;

When you walk into the grocery store with the list of groceries you need, you confidently walk to the shelves that has what you came to purchase. Within minutes, you are walking out the door with the precise items you purchased.

We all know what happens when you shop without a list. You end up buying items you didn’t really need and forget the one thing you went shopping for in the first place.

Frustrating, yeah? I know right.

Although it doesn’t work exactly that way with choosing an ideal romantic partner, but then it’s a major step to knowing exactly what you desire.

Pause for a minute!

You can’t know exactly what you desire if you don’t know who you are. Get to know yourself and be in a relationship with yourself first; this way, you’ll be able to know what your likes, dislikes and desires are.

Making a list of the qualities and traits you desire in your ideal romantic partner may be seen as unrealistic but pause for a second and think about this.

You probably have someone who wants to be in a relationship with you or you desire to be in a relationship with someone, but a part of you is confused on if he/she is the right one for you. You can’t really tell because deep down you don’t know what you want. Yeah, you may see all the good qualities that everyone would admire but the question is, do you really know why you want to be with that person?

Some people be like… “I know what I want, I’m just keeping all my options open”.

What does that even mean?

This is where the list comes in. A list are the qualities that are most important to you in a partner. Your list MUST have specific qualities and traits of what you desire and what you can’t tolerate.

This includes, your deal breakers (Infidelity, lying, violent temper, alcoholic, etc.), lifestyle (vegan, minimalist, green, etc.), family, religion preferences (spiritually open or close), health, career, finances and literally every aspect. You can’t be neutral; unless you choose to settle for anything (which may be less than what you deserve).

Remember the illustration using the grocery store?

That’s right!

The more specific you are, the greater chances of finding exactly what you’re looking for.

To get started, write down the qualities and traits you desire in your ideal romantic partner.

Wait!

Now is not the time to make that unrealistic list we all have in our heads. Put down only the qualities and traits that are really important to you or think about what you don’t want in your ideal romantic partner.

Makes sense?

Thinking about the qualities or traits you cannot tolerate would help to discern what you really want.

Take as much time as you need in creating your list. First make it as long or short as you would like. We grow every day, so go over your list, add to them, change them but remain true to yourself and your heart.

A list should include major qualities of your ideal romantic partner. Physical qualities do fade but if that’s really important for you, add it to your list. As you grow older, your priorities change and so will your list.

Edit it as much as you can until you feel it is realistic enough. Be clear about what you need and try to keep your list short. Less is more.

Don’t forget to add grades.

Yeah! you heard right.

So let’s say you’ve got 10 items on your list, you can say he/she has to score an average of 70% or 80% to qualify to be ‘the one’.

Remember, nobody is perfect, but to have a healthy relationship, you need to be with someone of like minds. You’ll need to be on observation mode to find out. This is why your list should be short and simple so you can have a copy of it in your head.

Your list is a serious ball game that would make your life easier and help you settle for who exactly you want or a lot closer to what you desire.

Explore, meet people while you look out for those qualities and traits in your list. The clearer and more specific your list is, the easier it would be for you to find your desired romantic partner.