Decisions

Almost all my life, I’ve had a hard time making decisions on my own, no matter how small or sturdy the decision was. I was terrified about making foolish decisions and mistakes. I rarely made decisions on my own. Even when I had a solid conviction, I always spoke to someone or some persons in my close circle about it before making a decision. And their opinions influenced my final decision.

I grew up with three amazing older siblings. It was almost impossible to make decisions without seeking their counsel. Not that they asked me to try their counsel first or anything, but I always sought their approval in every decision-making process. I saw them as ‘the three wise men.’ Even when I had my opinion, I always wanted to hear theirs because it still sounded way better than what I had in mind (so I thought).

When my older siblings weren’t close by, I recruited my close friends and made them my ‘Board of Directors (decision makers)’; although they had no idea.

As I grew older and always found myself in decision-making positions (career, relationships, academics, and other areas that came with adulthood), it became overwhelming. I could hardly make a decision without talking to my older siblings or board of directors.

Whenever I needed to make a decision (small or strict), I’d excuse myself to call or text any available board of director to hear their opinion. And their idea always sounded better and louder than mine, and it almost always influenced my final decision, which sometimes had adverse outcomes.

It felt like I didn’t have a mind of my own. I wonder what kind of mistake was I so afraid of. It kept bothering me to the point that it started to affect me negatively. When I had an opinion about something that concerns me, the moment I talked to someone about it immediately, it messes everything up.

So I did a test to be intentional about my actions and practice being present for myself. I also received my weekly newsletter from Adaora Lumina Mbelu, where she wrote about being in control of your mind and body, not the other way round. I decided I was going to start making decisions without seeking counsel from anyone (like my head always tells me).

The thought of the outcome was terrifying, but I was relentless. The first few times, I found myself still talking about it with my ‘board of directors’. Lol. After the discussion, I would scold myself for not sticking to the test.

Boom! Fast forward to weeks or probably months (I wasn’t actually keeping tabs), I made the first decision on my own, which was a tough one. The great thing is, I made it alone without calling or texting my board of directors for their opinions. I’m so proud of myself. I finally feel in total control of my mind and body.

Being intentional about not involving my circle in every decision-making process was a gradual process that didn’t happen overnight.

It made me realize that I had subconsciously imprisoned my mind when I was the captain of it. I was so afraid of making mistakes, but I ended up making lots of errors anyway. Most importantly, I learned from all of them.

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Takeaways:

Mistakes are inevitable. Don’t be scared because they are unavoidable in life. Just make sure you learn from them.

This post is about my decision-making process. Yours could be something different. Most importantly, you are in control of your mind and body only if you take charge. It can be tricky, but the moment you take charge, everything would fall in place.

I hope you enjoy this post. Do you always involve your close circle in your decision-making process? Kindly share your thoughts with me in the comments 🤗

Yours truly, Grace ♡